quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have feelings that need drinking.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
