U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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