she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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