Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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