Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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