Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As shirtless as possible
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
