Already got asked if we're dating
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
