She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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