is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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