So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
