I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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