No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
