All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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