just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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