tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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