Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
