I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
