Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
