you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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