TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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