we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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