Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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