Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
