I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
