I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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