I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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