I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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