Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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