i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dicks are not precious.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
