I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize