Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
