Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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