That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
