Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
