did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
