You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
