yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
