OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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