Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
