Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize