The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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