Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize