singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's blow job season.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
