Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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