Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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