My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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