Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what is it with giant penises always finding me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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