I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
