...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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