i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
