Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
