Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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