You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
