I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
