Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
