If i come over, it means nothing
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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