there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize