I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
