Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
