Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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