Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize