Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
