All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
