she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
