do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i believe in u and ur pee
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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