glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
