she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
