Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
