I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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