everyone is single if you try hard enough
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
